“If it is woman’s function to give, she must be replenished too.”
(Anne Morrow Lindbergh, GIFT FROM THE SEA)
Some of us are missing in action. Like a molting snake we’ve slithered from the constraints of a skin that no longer fits; we’ve lost ourselves caring for others. Our souls shrivel from ungodly self-denial we splatter with spiritual clichés and masquerade as selflessness; we surrender to our own extinction.
My husband doesn’t think it suits me well. Eventually my true thoughts, feelings and needs explode and hurt those I love, while I secretly blame them for the skin that doesn’t fit. Sound familiar?
I wonder how I’ve distorted God’s purpose for my life – adding burdensome standards and requirements that God never intended. I don’t have to run myself ragged, volunteer, keep an immaculate home or work out every day. But that didn’t keep me from trying.
Straining to outrun fear or striving to earn God’s favor depletes and destroys. I’m not talking about the daily exhaustions of motherhood. I’m talking about the bone drenching weariness that sucks life from our souls - berating ourselves with blame and shame when we don’t achieve the impossible.
I bought the lies that said:
No one could stop the hamster cage from spinning except me.
Depression caused me to change. I wanted to feel good again. But I had to choose to replenish me; to acknowledge and accept my needs as legitimate; to learn healthy ways to meet my needs; to separate my worth from my role; and to be gracious with myself and others.
Do you feel like you’re missing in action? Adoption realities may force us to shed the skin that no longer fits. Resist extinction; it’s an opportunity for growth. The more demands you experience, the more your need to replenish. Choose to give your family the gift of you!