How You Can Be Comfortable “Talking Adoption” with Your Kiddos

Guest Blogger, Sherrie Eldridge, author of Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew and her newly rereleased Forever Fingerprints, is a respected colleague, mentor and friend who gives compassionate voice to the adoptee experience.

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Whenever I share with parents, there is at least one parent who comes up and whispers, “I’ve never told my child she is adopted. When should I tell her?” 

This is the most frequently-asked question by adoptive/foster parents is, “How and when should I talk with my child about adoption?”

Perhaps, it’s the most-asked question because it causes much anxiety in the hearts of many adoptive parents. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I hurt my child? What if my child grows to love the birth parents more than me? 

Where Parents Can See Wisdom Modeled
I know…you want to be savvy parents, equipped to tell your child whatever it takes to deepen connections with her and to help her grow into the person she was created to be.

But where are parents to be instructed?

Let me introduce you to a seven-year-old adoptee named Lucie, the main character in my upcoming children’s book Forever Fingerprints…An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children.

When her pregnant aunt and uncle come for a visit, Lucie’s curiosity starts bubbling. Even though she’s known from day one that she was adopted, new questions come up, and they will for a lifetime.

• What does the baby do in there all day?
• Does he eat and sleep?
• How did he get in there, anyway?

Lucie’s parents were savvy! Here are a few reasons why:

• They used every day experiences, such as the pregnancy of an aunt, as springboards for adoption discussions 
• They were the kind of parents that read every adoption book they could get their hands on. Education pays off!
• They talked with every teen and adult adoptee possible to learn how adoptees process life experiences
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How Your Child’s Deepest Need Can Be Satisfied 
The deepest need of every adoptee, no matter our age, is a physical sense of connection to our birth parents. We are so desperate for this that it can be likened to a starving man looking for food.

Sometimes, meeting that seems impossible. Perhaps your child was adopted internationally and you only received a certificate of abandonment from her country of origin?

God himself has provided a way through the story of your child’s fingerprints. Using the truths of Psalm 139, the adopted child is connected not only physically to her birth mother, but more importantly, to the Lord who loves her.

I am pleased to announce that Forever Fingerprints book is being released today, October 21. You can purchase it on amazon.com. Here is the link: goo.gl/CddHXQ.

There are also craft sheets available on my site at SherrieEldridge.com. These can be used for :

• Lifebooks: Have your child make a print every year and see how her perceptions grow and change over the years.
• Infant Adoptions: Ask your social worker to incorporate this into adoption day by making baby fingerprints in the cover.
• Adoption Awareness Month (November): Do a reading at your church, library, or local book store followed by a fingerprinting activity.
• Orphan Sunday: Make available to church attenders along with the book.

So, see, you can be comfortable talking adoption with your kids! All you need is encouragement and the right tools. You were made for this, parents!

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Bio: A twice-reunited adoptee, Eldridge is a straight-shooting, transparent, and compassionate author, speaker, and trainer in the field of adoption. Her books are research-based, yet woven within are poignant messages pounded out on the anvil of her own adoptee heart. This is what makes Eldridge unique! Sherrie helps readers and listeners to understand the adopted child’s perspective on adoption and how to deepen connections between parent and child.

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